Lack of Will Power Isn’t Failure
Suppose you have a major setback achieving an important goal because you succumb to temptation. People often give into temptation when they’re making a change in their health: quitting smoking, getting fit, losing weight. However, it can also happen in with many other types of important goals that you might set for yourself. Perhaps you’re focused on getting a promotion at work, but find yourself slipping back into your old habit of rushing to get your work done at the last minute because you have been procrastinating once again. Admitting defeat, you blame it on your lack of willpower and then simply give up even trying to achieve your goal altogether. In reality, is it really your willpower that is failing you, or is it something else entirely?
You may be surprised to learn that many of the people who are the most successful at achieving their goals often don’t believe in willpower. They are as often just as susceptible to temptations as the rest us. Like us, they also try to do their best to resist temptation as much as possible and set up conditions around them to avoid temptations as much as they can. However, on those occasions when they do give into temptation, they simply shrug their shoulders, enjoy the moment of indulgence, and get straight back on track without any self-recrimination.
These people succeed where others don’t because they refuse succumb to their own failure. Willpower is not something they consciously struggle to achieve. Instead, it comes naturally, without thought or effort as a trait that develops. They gain momentum and start to see results. If you’re lucky enough to be able achieve your goals through the sheer power will alone, that’s great. For most people however, seeing great results is a product of tenacity and the willingness to keep on trying.
Accept that you’re human, and that you’re going to ‘fail’ from time to time. Don’t accept that one failure as an excuse to carry on with a habit that takes you further away from your goal.
Setbacks can occur when people around you withhold approval or even express disapproval about your personal development yourself to achieve a goal. Sometimes this stems from jealousy that you are doing so well with attainting your goals. Unfortunately, this can be very unsettling. When this happens, look for the positive intent behind the jealousy from the other person. They are probably afraid that by achieving your goal they may lose something valuable that they got from you such as companionship or the feeling that they are not alone. Perhaps you were the one who joined them for a cigarette at break time and they are unsettled by your new non-smoking conviction. It may be a family member who has got used to joining you as a couch potato in front of the television and feels bereft because you’re spending more time down the gym. Maybe you used to be the person in the office who always seemed to sympathize when a colleague who complained about the boss, and now you’re taking a different attitude to being a team player. Your new approach takes the fun out of it for your colleague.
In all of these examples, the people close to you miss the rapport they formerly had with you and the sense that you were ‘in it together’. Your new habits are changing your behavior and change is what you want. It may take a little time to readjust the relationships you had before you started making these changes. Some of those relationships may never be the same again and you can take the lead in changing your relationships for the better as well.